At first kids are so slippery with their tongues they can’t quite get the words out when they are young. Then, as they start to learn how to speak, their development grows and they are shouting for what they want until, for my kids, the teenage years hit, then all the work that went into teaching them how to pronounce words and hit the syllables just right, went
Does your marriage or relationship feel like a sham? Yes. Then, it is a sham. And, it is not a shame.
Knowing that it is false is seeing the truth of the thing. Knowing you want to end it, and now ending it is being responsible and adult for what you are unwilling to participate in any longer. This is honesty. And, remember it is not a shame. It served you for a long time, it got you through and helped you (and possibly your children) to survive when you didn’t know any better. You may have started it out with some false ideas, and now those ideas are being shown the light of day, are coming out of the closet and being seen as unhelpful and false, shame filled ideas, silly childish ideas really.