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Speaking from the Heart

Speaking from the Heart

Did you know that Rainer Maria Rilke wrote about 14,000 letters to various friends in his lifetime? And, it was not a long life. He lived to age 51. I happened across a book of some of his letters which in some parts included condolences to friends who had suffered a loss and found it quite helpful for being with my own friends. My friends and clients experience loss and impermanence in many ways, and I sometimes find it hard to know what to say. So, I turn to Rilke who ponders and reaches out...

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On Friendship

On Friendship

Start with being a good friend to yourself, and in that process, you establish a friendship with the world. A friend to self rebukes self-will-run-riot, complains less, reviews means for noble causes as tasks required in themselves; holds no role to one’s bosom, but watches as desires of the heart vanquish in exquisite agony. Let there be freedom to speak freely in truth. Friends nurture tenderness and care for the honest appraisal of one’s own experience. One must stand in one’s own shoes;...

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Loneliness in the Digital Age

Loneliness in the Digital Age

My father taught me to stand up straight, focus my eyes forward and make eye contact with other’s passing by, nod and say hello, basically, be polite. When we were out walking, he would often stop to chat about the weather or ask how someone was feeling, compliment them on their hairstyle or outfit, and wish them a nice day. These kinds of habits are still a part of me, and yet, these days I find it harder to meet anyone’s gaze. The information age and cell phone usage has hunched our...

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Wise Fire for Fiery Times


Wise Fire for Fiery Times


Did you know that fire fighters fight fire with fire? I didn’t know that much about it until recently. My younger son has been working in Yosemite National Park, but was recently evacuated due to the smoke from the Ferguson Fire, which has burned approximately 100,000 acres of forestland. I listen to the daily reports on the fire because I may need to help facilitate bringing him home at any time. Two fire fighters were killed working the fire, in addition to dozens of injuries and buildings...

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Notes from Growing Through Loss Series: What Do We Know About Grief and Bereavement?

Notes from Growing Through Loss Series: What Do We Know About Grief and Bereavement?

Last night was the first night of the “Growing Through Loss” support group series in Roseville, MN. The speaker, Ted Bowman, gave an overview of common misconceptions about grief: a- That there is a right way to do it. b- That there are predictable stages. c- That there is closure. d- That some people don’t grieve. We all grieve. We all have some form of suffering in our lives, whether it is the loss of a physical capacity, the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a job. Life is not easy; we...

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Reading With Insight

Reading With Insight

Recently, I have been reflecting on the process I go through when picking up a book, reading it, and deciding if I will finish it. When I pick up a book, I want it to be helpful. After all, we have only a limited amount of time in this human life. So, when my hand reaches for a book, and I begin turning the first pages, reading the table of contents perhaps, or perusing the first few pages, I will ask myself: Why did I pick this book? What am I looking for? Then, as I read a bit further, I...

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Staying Present with Grief

Staying Present with Grief

One of the core practices of my work is simply sitting and noticing. The idea behind this is to pay attention to the changing qualities within the mind and body, to see that they are ever flowing through us. In this practice, I pay special attention to the thoughts and desires that want to control this natural process. The example I want to write about today concerns the feelings of grief related to a loss that can arise throughout our life. I have been blessed to work with many people around...

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Aware of Changing Needs

Aware of Changing Needs

A couple of thoughts that came up as part of my morning meditation. Right now, you may be experiencing some resistance to doing something that would be more beneficial for you. There are a variety of ways to work with resistance to change. Meet that part with loving kindness and try to understand what it is saying. It may be that a part of you feels threatened by making a change in your habits, and needs to be seen and heard. Resolve to put it down or rise above it. This is a way of not being...

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Shifting “Me” to “We”

Shifting “Me” to “We”

In St. Paul, Minnesota the news estimated that 100,000 folks came together on January 21st, 2017 to march for human rights, equality, stopping bigotry, etc. It was an amazing sight and filled my heart with love for us all and for our planet. And, at the same time, I saw that what “we” have to do is enormous given the current governing body, it seemed almost overwhelming. I noticed a strong energy of “me” becoming exhausting as I stood with others. As a way of working with my feelings, I...

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Peaceful Growing Harmony

Peaceful Growing Harmony

Have you ever tried guided meditation? Sometimes the sound of  a human voice can be grounding and soothing. I've listened to a few over the years, and today, I decided to make one that fit for me. I find that it helps to sit quietly, relax, and just let the affirmations scintillate through the body and mind. I also use awareness of the breath rising and falling in the abdomen. Sometimes a certain affirmation has more of a response in the body, and other times not. Please enjoy this guided...

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